Andrew Dice Clay -- Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater ... He's Divorcing His Wife, But Wants to Keep Her

EXCLUSIVE

Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce ... even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they part.

The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's NOT because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez.

56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we filed, we’ve been more in love and have had more respect for each other than ever before." Clay says the couple even celebrated their divorce at a fancy Hollywood restaurant.

Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. They have no kids together.

And Hollywood just gets weirder and weirder.