Chris Brown On Tight Leash for Charity Trip -- NO FUNNY BUSINESS

EXCLUSIVE

Chris Brown better not pull any stunts when he leaves lockdown rehab this weekend to attend a charity event ... because TMZ has learned, if he so much as steps out of line ... the rehab facility will kick him out for good.

TMZ broke the story ... CB obtained permission to attend the 3-hour celebrity toy drive on Melrose Avenue Sunday because the rehab facility -- where he's getting help for anger management -- thought the experience would be good for his treatment.

But sources tell us, the Malibu rehab facility is keeping the singer on an extremely tight leash during the excursion.

We're told Chris only has permission to attend the event from 1pm to 4pm ... as soon as it's over, he has to hightail it back to rehab. The facility is giving him just enough extra time to travel to and from West Hollywood, but that's it. ZERO free time to hang with friends before or after the event.

If he's late to rehab Sunday evening, Chris is out ... which would be real bad ... because rehab's the main reason he's not in jail right now. You'll recall, the judge in his Rihanna beating case revoked his probation , but decided not to toss him in the pokey because he was making good progress in treatment.

We're told the rehab facility will also be drug testing Chris when he gets back ... so he better not think about blazing either.

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Bill Gates -- The Best or Worst Secret Santa Ever

TMZ TV

One incredibly lucky Redditor landed muliti-billionaire Bill Gates as her secret Santa -- and his gift was amazing--ly horrible ... at least by super-rich standards.

It's the thought that counts ... doesn't count with billionaires.

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Matthew Perry -- I'll NEVER Bury the Hatchet with Peter Hitchens

EXCLUSIVE

Matthew Perry is engaged in a war with a British journalist ... a war that has no end in sight -- and it's all over how the U.K. treats drug and alcohol addicts.

Perry was at LAX yesterday when we brought up his fiery exchange with Peter Hitchens on BBC's "Newsnight" ... in which Hitchens (who believes in stronger punishments for drug users) argued that addiction is nothing more than a "fantasy."

During the show, Hitchens went off on Perry and another guest ... saying, "Well you two believe in this fantasy of addiction, a complete fantasy, in which people lose all power over themselves and become victims of this terrible, frightening disease after which they cannot stop taking drugs. If you really believe that then you would presumably think that the best thing would be they never ever come in contact with those drugs."

Perry was furious ... calling his comments "ludicrous" and explaining, “I'm a drug addict. I'm a person that, if I have a drink, I can't stop. And so it would be following your ideology that I'm choosing to do that.”

Hitchens agreed.

Now that a few days have passed and the two have had a chance to cool down, we asked Perry if there was a chance they could ever be friends.

Perry made it clear ... Hitchens shouldn't ever expect a Christmas card.

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Barron Hilton -- Check Out My Battle Scars

Barron Hilton is still going through the healing process -- after some guy smashed his face in during a coke-fueled party in Miami earlier this month -- showing off his scabby battle wounds Thursday in Hawaii.

Barron surfaced in Maui with his GF -- 4,600 miles from the crime scene -- wearing sunglasses ... and some baby scars above his nose and his eyes. A little Neosporin would go a long way.

As we reported, Barron got his ass handed to him by one of Lindsay Lohan's friends during a mansion party in Miami. Barron blamed Lindsay for orchestrating the attack, but the guy who punched him says Lindsay's innocent ... he punched Barron all on his own.

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French Montana -- I'm Sleeping With Julius Caesar

Exclusive Video

French Montana has added to his menagerie of exotic animals, with a gift that has a tendency to throw feces at you.

We got video of French and his new little friend ... an adorable baby monkey named Julius Caesar.

The monkey was a surprise gift from producer Mally Mall ... who presented the banana enthusiast to Montana on board his private jet.

We're told French has been bottle feeding JC ... and even slept with him last night.

FM is no stranger to wildlife. Earlier this year, he posted a picture of him holding two tiger cubs, with this caption: "Got so high last night bought 2 baby tigers."

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Candice Swanepoel -- Here's My Perfect Butt -- Judge For Yourself

TMZ TV

Victoria's Secret supermodel Candice Swanepoel shot a photo AND video that fulfilled holiday wishes around the world. But is this the perfect gift?

Of course it is, but just in case you disagree ... enjoy this absurd debate.

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'Duck Dynasty' Family -- We Won't Do the Show Without Phil Robertson

Breaking News

The Robertson family just drew a line in the sand with A&E -- NO PHIL, NO SHOW ... and says they are already talking to the cable channel about possibly pulling the plug on "Duck Dynasty."

The family issued a statement on their website saying, "As a family, we cannot imagine the show going forward without our patriarch at the helm. We are in discussions with A&E to see what that means for the future of Duck Dynasty."

They also say their "disappointed" that Phil Robertson was suspended by A&E just for expressing his religious beliefs ... which, they point out, is his "constitutionally protected right."

Fun fact: "Duck Dynasty" is the highest rated cable reality TV show ever.

Way to go A&E.

We want to thank all of you for your prayers and support. The family has spent much time in prayer since learning of A&E's decision. We want you to know that first and foremost we are a family rooted in our faith in God and our belief that the Bible is His word. While some of Phil’s unfiltered comments to the reporter were coarse, his beliefs are grounded in the teachings of the Bible. Phil is a Godly man who follows what the Bible says are the greatest commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Phil would never incite or encourage hate.We are disappointed that Phil has been placed on hiatus for expressing his faith, which is his constitutionally protected right.We have had a successful working relationship with A&E but, as a family, we cannot imagine the show going forward without our patriarch at the helm. We are in discussions with A&E to see what that means for the future of Duck Dynasty. Again, thank you for your continued support of our family.

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Mega-Rich L.A. Artist Jack Armstrong -- I Didn't Rape That Girl ... I Got the Polygraph Test to Prove It

EXCLUSIVE

Mega-rich "Cosmic Artist" Jack Armstrong -- whose paintings go for as much as $6 million -- insists he did NOT drug and rape an unconscious woman in 2010 ... and he's got the lie detector test results to back his claim.

TMZ has obtained the results, and here are the questions Armstrong was asked during the test:

1) Did you give any drug to [the alleged victim], other than alcohol on March 4, 2010?

2) Did you have sex with [the alleged victim] against her will on March 4, 2010?

3) Did [the alleged victim] at any time on March 4, 2010 tell you she did not want to have sex with you?

Armstrong -- famous for his bright multicolored "cosmic extensionalism" paintings -- answered "NO" to each of the questions ... and according to the polygraph machine, it appears he was telling the truth.

It's worth noting, Armstrong hired the company that administered the test -- Jomac and Associates -- and polygraph results tend to hold little water in court.

Armstrong is currently facing a felony charge of "rape of unconscious person" after allegedly meeting the woman at a club in Beverly Hills. The woman claims Armstrong bought her beers, and next thing she knew she woke up naked in his bed.

He was arrested in November.

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TMZ Live: 'Duck Dynasty' Phil Robertson -- Suspension Smells Like Hypocrisy

A&E's suspension of Phil Robertson seems totally hypocritical, doesn't it? The "Duck Dynasty" family's never hidden their strong religious beliefs -- so, why is the cable channel acting like Phil's anti-gay comments are a big surprise?

Plus, Adrienne Maloof is just like a teenager with parents out of town -- her huge party got shut down by cops! We know what went down inside, but here's a question: Why didn't any of her 'Housewives' cohorts show up ?

TELL US WHAT

YOU THINK

• Ronda Rousey Fighting Sexism


• Shaq vs. Shaunie


• Paul Walker's Shop Closing Down

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Shaunie O'Neal -- Shut Down in Court ... Score One for Shaq

EXCLUSIVE

Shaunie O'Neal was unconvincing this morning in court ... a judge just rejected her bid for an order allowing her to put her kids on a new reality show ... something ex-hubby Shaquille O'Neal is vehemently against.

Shaunie wanted the judge to rule in her favor without a hearing, but Shaq's lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser convinced the judge there was no rush and a hearing was only fair ... but that takes time.

TMZ broke the story ... Shaq -- who has joint custody -- has been warring with Shaunie over the reality show, insisting ubiquitous cameras at home would be a terrible distraction for their 4 kids ... some of whom are already struggling in school. He's also worried the show will portray Shaunie and the kids in a negative light.

Shaunie has insisted the show will be wholesome family fun, but with scandal-hungry producers breathing down Shaunie's neck and her own cat-fighting track record on "Basketball Wives" ... Shaq isn't convinced.

Filming for the reality show is scheduled to begin in January ... so Shaunie's really under the gun.

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Justin Bieber -- Bodyguards Accused Of IHOP Brawl

EXCLUSIVE

Justin Bieber's bodyguards roughed up a photog last night at an IHOP in Encino, CA ... and the pap has filed a battery report with cops ... according to law enforcement sources.

TMZ has learned ... the photog says he was trying to take pictures of Bieber in the pancake shop, but took a potty break, and that's where the alleged battery went down.

The photog says he was injured slightly.

Bieber's security guys have been getting increasingly physical ... his bodyguards have been accused of roughing up a photog who snapped Bieber surfing in Australia last month ... and another pap who shot Bieber cliff diving in Hawaii.

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Kesha -- I'm On the Hunt ... for a Big Ol' 'C**t'

EXCLUSIVE

Ke$ha tells TMZ ... there's one quality a man HAS to possess if he wants a shot at banging her -- he's got to be a "little bit of a c**t."

Ke$ha -- dressed like a 26-year-old Emperor Palpatine -- was rolling through LAX yesterday when our camera guy (a big fan of her reality show) asked why she's not drawn to nice guys.

Her answer was kind of like a Mounds commercial .... sometimes ya feel like a c**t, sometimes ya don't.

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'Duck Dynasty' Star Phil Robertson Suspended Indefinitely Over Homophobic Comments

Breaking News

"Duck Dynasty" star Phil Robertson has been SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY by A&E after a series of homophobic comments he made in a recent GQ interview.

A rep for A&E released a statement, saying, "We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series 'Duck Dynasty.'"

The rep added, "His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community."

A&E has suspended him indefinitely from the show.

As we reported, Phil told GQ about how a vagina is more desirable than a man's anus , and how homosexuality and bestiality are the same sin.

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'RHOA' Star NeNe Leakes -- Potentially Fatal Blood Clots NOT Entirely Gone

EXCLUSIVE

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star NeNe Leakes says she's not out of the woods yet ... after doctors found blood clots in her lung.

NeNe was hospitalized last month. after suffering shortness of breath ... and that's when doctors found the clots.

NeNe was looking good at LaGuardia Airport in NYC and she gave us the low down on what could have been a fatal problem.

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Jason Melon in 'Back to School': 'Memba Him?!

Keith Gordon is best known for playing Rodney Dangerfield's slacker son Jason Melon -- opposite Robert Downey Jr. -- in the 1986 college comedy "Back to School." Guess what he looks like now!

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Paul Walker Crash Investigation Ongoing -- Report Blaming Speed Alone Is Bogus

Breaking News

A new report blaming Paul Walker's fatal car accident on excess speed alone is false -- multiple informed law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

The Associated Press is running a story that investigators have already concluded there was NO EVIDENCE Paul's Porsche had mechanical problems at the time of the crash.

According to the report, investigators believe Paul's friend Roger Rodas was simply driving way too fast ... and that's what led to the November 30 crash in Santa Clarita, which killed both Walker and Rodas. The report says the investigation also ruled out debris in the road as a possible cause for the car losing control.

But we've learned that's not true -- multiple law enforcement sources familiar with the investigation tell us, the investigation is ongoing and NO determinations have been made regarding the cause.

We broke the story ... the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. has summoned Porsche engineers from Germany to come here and examine what's left of the engine, brakes and tires in an effort to determine the cause of the accident.

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Gay 'Storage Wars' Stars -- 'Duck Dynasty' Hater Is MISSING OUT On Man Ass ... 'It's Tighter'

EXCLUSIVE

An openly gay couple on A&E's "Storage Wars: New York" is NOT offended by the homophobic comments made by fellow A&E'er and "Duck Dynasty" star Phil Robertson -- telling TMZ, they just feel bad for him ... because man ass beats vagina any day of the week.

Chris Morelli and Tad Eaton tell us, "We could give a s**t what he thinks ... [man ass] is tighter."

As we reported, Phil talked about how a vagina is more desirable than a man's anus, and how homosexuality and bestiality are the same sin.

But Chris and Tad aren't fazed, telling us, "You can't go through life worrying what other people think. That's their values and that's what they think ... as long as they're not nasty to people ... We're not offended at all."

In fact, Chris and Tad say they're still big fans of Phil: "We like Phil. We like the show. We like the fact that they are very godly. When we watch the show and see them say grace, we feel the same way."

As for Phil's belief that gay people won't go to heaven ... Chris and Tad say simply, "How does [Phil] know that? Is he God?"

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Michael Lohan -- MERRY CHRISTMAS From My Second Family ... And Tan Mom ... And ...

EXCLUSIVE

The Lohan family wants to wish you a Merry Christmas this year ... but not Dina, not Lindsay, not Ali or Cody ... just Michael Lohan, his fiancee Kate Major, and their 11-month-old love child.

It's only one of SEVERAL pseudo-celeb Christmas cards we've obtained this year -- including ones from ex-"Baywatch" star Jeremy Jackson and his wife, Justin Bieber's surgically-enhanced lookalike Toby Sheldon, Anthony Weiner's sexting partner Sydney Leathers ... and one especially terrifying card from Tan Mom.

Click through the gallery to see them all. They're fantastic!

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Alessandra Ambrosio -- Gets Sleigh'd on a Beach

'Tis the season to get your jollies ... and you can thank Victoria's Secret angel Alessandra Ambrosio, who stripped down to some red hot Rudolph-themed lingerie on a beach in L.A. yesterday.

Talk about our new favorite reindeer game.

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Guess Who This Smilin' Little Lady Turned Into!

Before this grinning girl was the biggest "B*tch" in Hollywood -- she was just another little lady growing up in Pennsylvania. Can you guess who she is?

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Justin Bieber -- Check Out My Hotboxed Ride

Either Justin Bieber's van had some serious mechanical problems in NYC today ... or his crew was blazing a METRIC TON of Mary Jane inside -- because when the singer slid the door open and stepped out, he was followed by a Hiroshima-level cloud of smoke.

You gotta see it. It's like something out of a stoner movie.

Bieber -- a noted weed enthusiast -- was arriving for a radio interview at Power 106. Here's hoping he can still form complete sentences.

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'Zombie Vine' Kid -- I'm One Step Closer to Terrorizing the World on 'Walking Dead'

EXCLUSIVE

The New Jersey high school kid who turned his disability into a hilarious "Zombie Prank" Vine account says he's one giant step closer to his dream -- starring on "The Walking Dead" -- but he's waiting on one important phone call.

17-year-old Nick Santonastasso -- who was born with only one arm and no legs -- Skyped in to "TMZ Live," telling us there's a petition gaining a LOT of momentum online, begging "Walking Dead" producers to get Nick on the show.

The petition has more than 1,500 signatures ... nonetheless Nick says he hasn't gotten a phone call from showrunners to make it all official. But he's optimistic.

For all his followers, however, Nick's still taking a lot of heat from people who say he's reducing his disability to an object of mockery ... check the clip to hear his thoughts. Pretty profound.

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