DeAndre Jordan -- Stripper Forecast: No Rain! 'You Ain't Getting My Money!!'

EXCLUSIVE

DeAndre Jordan makes about $139,514 per game, and strippers are getting exactly none of that cash -- the Clippers star tells TMZ Sports he doesn't spend any money in gentlemen's clubs!

DeAndre's Clips teammate -- Matt Barnes -- recently told S.I. that Allen Iverson used to drop 30k to 40k ... EVERY TIME he went to the strip club.

So, we asked Jordan -- who was with Odell Beckham Jr. at Katsuya in Hollywood -- about A.I.'s spending habits and his own. His response is pretty shocking from a pro athlete.

DJ also talked about Thabo Sefolosha's controversial arrest ... and predicts the outcome of the case.

Check out the clip ... sorry ladies, someone else is going to have to put you through nursing school.

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Stars and Scars -- You Be the Judge

Kim and Khloe Kardashian may have done more to shine a light on the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide than all the Armenians put together. And Jay Z has hijacked the spotlight of a bunch of stars who thought they'd be the biggest thing in Vegas after the fight. So we gotta ask ...

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Celebrity Scramble -- Guess Who!

Behind this alien inspired scramble is an out-of-this-world celeb ... are you sharp enough to guess which A-list actress is behind this far out photo?

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Jackie Chan: Good Genes or Good Docs?!

Jackie Chan's good looks are still kicking ass!

Here's a 27-year-old version of the martial arts expert and "Dragon Strike" actor hanging out in Paris back in 1981 (left) and 34 years later ... the "Rush Hour" vet -- who turned 61-years-old earlier this week -- at a speaking event in Beijing, China (right).

The question is ...

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Khloe Kardashian -- Divorce Case To Be Dismissed

EXCLUSIVE

Khloe Kardashian has been told to get off her ass in her divorce from Lamar Odom , or the case will be dismissed, and it looks like that's exactly what's about to happen.

A document was just filed by the court in Khloe's divorce, saying she has not gotten off the dime and unless she files paperwork to seal the deal in the divorce case or the whole case will be thrown out.

Khloe filed in December 2013 and Lamar never responded. She had a right to go to court and get a default divorce judgment, but she hasn't done it. In fact, sources connected to the Kardashian family tell us she just doesn't want to deal with the divorce and won't take any action.

It's become a problem, because our sources say the house Khloe and Lamar owned was sold more than a year ago for $5.5 million and the business people don't know what to do with the money because the divorce is in limbo.

So now the court has made it clear ... if Khloe doesn't file papers to make the divorce final, she will stay married to Lamar and the divorce case will be dismissed ... as early as the end of April.

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Rumer Willis -- Asses With Stars ... Just Give Her the Damn Trophy Already

This is Rumer Willis leaving a "Dancing With the Stars" rehearsal -- or more accurately ... it's Rumer's ass leaving rehearsal.

Rumer's already taken the MVA (most valuable asset) on this season of 'DWTS' -- and a lot of people who give a crap about that show ... think she's a lock to win the mirror ball thingy in the finale.

If she doesn't win ... we'd hate to see her go, but we damn sure ain't gonna be mad watching her leave.

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Scientology's David Miscavige -- P.I.s Say They Were Hired to 'Dig Up Dirt' on David's Dad (AUDIO)

EXCLUSIVE

David Miscavige and his Church of Scientology are on a mission -- to "dig up dirt" on people who talk crap on them -- so claims the private investigator who says he was hired to keep David's dad in line. The audio is pretty amazing.

TMZ obtained police audio in which P.I. Daniel Powell told Wisconsin detectives he and his dad were paid $10k a week from the Church to shadow Ronald Miscavige ... to follow him, see who he's talking to, monitor his emails and most of all make sure he's not bad-mouthing David.

Daniel says Ronald used to be the Musical Director of the Church, until David decided his stuff was outdated and put him out to pasture. Daniel says Ronald started going after David, and that's when they were hired to unrelentingly control the elder Miscavige.

Daniel says David paid Ronald off on numerous occasions to keep him quiet.

And Daniel says David has reason to fear Ronald ... because dad has the goods and David is "a terrible person."

The lawyer for David Miscavige says his client did not hire Daniel Powell and has never even met him.

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Guess Who This Soccer Stud Turned Into!

Before this sporty kid had Hollywood begging for moore he was just another cool kid posing for his soccer photos in Northern California. Can you guess who he is?!

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Scientology's David Miscavige -- P.I. Tells Cops ... Tom Cruise Funds Everything!

P.I. Tells Cops

Tom Cruise Funds Everything!

EXCLUSIVE

Tom Cruise underwrites so much of Scientology, people connected with the Church root for the success of his movies, even when they suck.

P.I. Daniel Howell, who claims to have been hired by the Church to tail the father of Scientology leader David Miscavige, joked with cops ... Tom was the biggest moneymaker by far in the Church.

In fact, Howell wisecracks that Tom is probably paying the $10K a week salary to keep tabs on and harass Ronald Miscavige.

But the movie reference is hilarious, and we're guessing he's referring to "Oblivion," which was released in April 2013, one month before the P.I. had his chitchat with cops.

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Kim and Khloe Kardashian -- Hey Prime Minister, Nice to Meet Ya!

Kim and Khloe Kardashian had a meeting Thursday with none other than Hovik Abrahamyan, the Prime Minister of Armenia.

The P.M. heaped praise on the Kardashian girls for staying in touch with their Armenian roots and remembering the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide.

It's unclear if "KUWTK" cameras were rolling during the visit, but there was plenty of video so the girls are in luck. They apologized for not speaking the Armenian language but promised to learn it ... or at least give it the ol' college try.

The Prime Minister gave them a flower arrangement that symbolizes the anniversary.

Just wow.

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Mama June -- 'My Mom is a Money Hungry Bitch' (VIDEO)

EXCLUSIVE

Mama June is angry and clear ... her own monther has driven a wedge between her and Chickadee, because she's "a money hungry bitch."

June flew into LA Thursday and told our photog, it's Chickadee's own fault she's run out of cash ... June says she's given her plenty.

June then made it clear ... the gravy train has left the station, so Chickadee needs to fend for herself.

As for June's mother ... June squarely blames her for the fracture in her family.

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Bruce Jenner -- Here's What Won't Change -- Love of Sports

EXCLUSIVE

Bruce Jenner has been a super athlete all his life, and that won't change when he becomes a woman.

Sources close to Bruce tell TMZ his routines -- which involve multiple sports -- will be unaffected. Bruce is a staple at his golf country club, where the members love him, and he will stay active at the club.

Bruce is heavy into paddle boarding in Malibu -- something he does with his sons -- and that will continue.

We're told Bruce will keep up his passion for racing cars recreationally with his kids. Ditto flying helicopters, both model and real.

Short story ... he's been a world-class athlete with a passion for sports , and that's not going to change.

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MMA Star Joe Schilling -- Ronda Rousey Would Kick My Ass!!

EXCLUSIVE

Add one more person to the list of people who think UFC Women's champ Ronda Rousey could beat a man ... 'cause fellow fighter Joe Schilling says the pint-size punisher would totally kick HIS ass.

Joe was out in L.A. getting ready for his upcoming scrap at Bellator 136 on Saturday when we asked if he thought he could take out Ronda (who's nearly 50 pounds lighter) in a real-life battle of the sexes.

"I think if I fought Ronda Rousey she'd probably Judo throw and submit me at some point."

Schilling says he ain't just spitballin' either ... he says he knows Rousey personally and she's definitely "the real deal."

He also says Rousey is the sexiest fighter in the world ... which could be why that armbar doesn't look so bad to him.

It does to us though ... looks like it hurts.

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"Great White" Singer Jack Russell: 'Memba Him?!

Jack Russell is best known for fronting the '80s rock group "Great White" which gained major fame for this hairband ballad "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." Guess what he looks like now!

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Dee Snider -- I'm Angry at Drummer A.J. Pero for Dying ... He Could Have Saved Himself (TMZ Live)

I'm Angry at A.J. for Dying

... He Could Have Saved Himself

EXCLUSIVE

Dee Snider just unleashed a bitter rant about Twisted Sister drummer A.J. Pero's death -- saying his heart attack was totally avoidable, but Pero did nothing to save himself or protect his family.

Dee came on TMZ Live to talk about the band's upcoming farewell tour , but ended up venting about Pero. Dee told us he's in the anger stage of grieving because ... he says Pero knew he had a history of heart disease in his family, but never got checked out.

A.J.'s autopsy results -- which Dee revealed -- are what really set him off about his friend's death.

Watch him unload ... he's a man on a mission.

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Floyd Mayweather -- 24 Days to Go ... 3 Pounds to Lose

24 Days To Go

... 3 Pounds To Lose

breaking news

We don't know what your diet will be like over the next month ... but Floyd Mayweather might be doing a little calorie counting, 'cause the champ has three lbs to shed before the May 2 superfight.

TMZ Sports got their hands on a pic of Floyd tipping the scales for his mandatory 30 day weigh in ... and the Money man came in at 150.5 ... 3.5 pounds over the welterweight limit of 147.

If you're worried about Mayweather making weight ... don't. We spoke with his high class chef not too long ago and she told us Floyd typically ratchets up his diet and training closer to fight date.

As for Manny, we're told the medical board of the WBC has been trying to reach out to the Filipino slugger for his weigh in ... but hasn't been able to make contact.

We saw him a little while ago ... at See's Candies .

Getting close now fellas ... don't blow this.

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TMZ Live: Kanye West: Oh My God... THIS IS AWKWARD!

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Guess Who This Goofy Little Girl Turned Into!

Before this silly little kid was a tried and true Hollywood actress she was just another cute kid hamming it up for the camera in Raleigh, North Carolina. Can you guess who she is?!

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Mischa Barton -- My Mother's a Financial Vampire ... She's Sucking Me Dry

My Mother's a Financial Vampire

... She's Sucking Me Dry

Exclusive Details

Mischa Barton's mother/manager pocketed a chunk of her daughter's salary from a movie -- and even kicked Mischa out of her own Beverly Hills mansion ... according to a new lawsuit.

Mischa filed the suit against her mom, Nuala Barton ... claiming she's a "greedy stage mother posing as a talent manager" ... and says she lied to Mischa about her income on the 2013 film "The Hoarder." In the docs, Mischa says Nuala told her she was being paid a certain amount ... but eventually found out from the production company her salary was higher than that number.

She says Nuala took the difference for herself ... and also took a 10% management fee. She doesn't mention specific numbers in the lawsuit.

Mischa says mommie dearest also used her name to pimp out a handbag line and to open a Mischa Barton fashion boutique in London -- all of which might have been great if Mischa got a dime from any of it. She says Nuala kept all the profits for herself.

As for Mischa's home -- she says her mother rigged the paperwork to give herself co-ownership of the 8 bedroom, 11 bath mansion. According to the suit, Nuala even took out loans against the property -- and then kicked her out of her own home. She says her mom and dad are now "comfortably" entrenched in the mansion.

The suit gets particularly nasty ... with Mischa stating her parents "sit back expecting their daughter's hard work and dedication to her craft to support their lifestyle." She adds neither of them's had a job, outside of Mischa Inc., in over a decade.

Interestingly, Mischa didn't sue Dad, but that's probably only because he's not her manager.

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TMZ Live: Tom Cruise: A Year Without Suri

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CC's 'Brickleberry' Co-Creator -- Instagram Sucks ... My Creation's as Good as Michelangelo

Instagram Sucks

My Creation's as Good as Michelangelo

One man's junk is another man's art ... but not always. Waco O'Guin -- the co-creator of Comedy Central's animated series "Brickleberry" -- is blasting Instagram for penile hypocrisy.

Waco tells us he's furious Instagram yanked his post showing an altered "Creation," featuring Woody from the show who dwarfs the "real" Adam and a topless Ethel who mimics a zaftig cherub.

Waco got a message from Instagram that his parody was out of line but the original "Creation" he posted was allowed to remain.

He feels art is art, and Michelangelo's prized work in the Sistine Chapel is not more worthy of Instagram than his stab at greatness.

He also says his creation was featured on Comedy Central, sans blurs, so if it's good enough for the network it should be good enough for the folks at Instagram.

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Ronna in the Movie 'Go': 'Memba Her?!

Sarah Polley is best known for playing the drug dealing store clerk turned speed bump Ronna -- opposite Scott Wolf and Jay Mohr -- in the 1999 thriller "Go." Guess what she looks like now!

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The Fat Jewish -- My Male Modeling Game Is ... Well Groomed (TMZ TV)

TMZ TV

Move over Derrick Zoolander, the new hot male model goes by the name of -- The Fat Jewish! Yup, the funniest guy on Instagram is kicking off his quest to change the face of modeling forever.

Which might explain why we found him sunbathing in a Speedo ... on a New York City street. Actually, he's IN the street. Dangerous, and kinda gross.

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David 'Devilfish' Ulliott Dead -- Famed Poker Player Dies From Cancer

breaking news

David “Devilfish” Ulliott -- a British poker player who got famous on the "Late Night Poker" -- died Monday following a battle with colon cancer. He was 61.

Ulliott's son announced he "died peacefully surrounded by his loved ones."

Ulliott was just diagnosed in February, and doctors didn't give him great odds ... saying it was really just a matter of time.

He amassed $4,364,305 in tournament earnings and is survived by his wife Anpaktita and their eight children.

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Bruce Jenner -- Kris and the Girls Won't Mess Up My Big Interview

EXCLUSIVE

Bruce Jenner will not have his spotlight jacked by Kris or the girls, because they will be thousands of miles away when his big ABC special airs.

Diane Sawyer 's two hour interview -- titled "Bruce Jenner -- The Interview"-- will air April 24th, the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide. We're told the women will be in Armenia, although for some reason they're saying the visit isn't tied to the anniversary.

Nonetheless, it won't be easy for the Kardashian women to throw in their two sense.

As we reported, Sawyer's interview is intimate and, we're told, really compelling. Bruce goes through everything -- from his early years identifying as a woman, to the present where he is deep into the transformation.

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