Katie Holmes vs. Jennifer Aniston -- FINAL BIKINI WAR OF 2013

This is it ... the last bikini objectification of the year ... and so, we proudly present -- KATIE HOLMES VS. JENNIFER ANISTON!!!!Katie was out in Miami, flaunting her post-Tom Cruise physique in a hot pink 2-piece.Jennifer is still in Cabo ... hangin' out with her man Justin Theroux.Two hot bodies -- but there can only be one winner.So, we gotta ask ... Who'd You Rather? Total Votes: 844 *Poll ResultsVOTED...

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'Modern Family' Star Ty Burrell -- WITNESS in Surprise Lesbian Wedding!

EXCLUSIVE A surprise lesbian wedding broke out at a Utah bar co-owned by "Modern Family" star Ty Burrell ... but the actor didn't just stand around and watch, Ty actually PARTICIPATED in the ceremony, TMZ has learned.Ty (who plays Phil Dunphy on the show) was hangin' out at Bar X in Salt Lake City on Friday where a group of pro-gay marriage supporters were celebrating the striking down of an anti-same...

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'Jersey Shore' Star -- I Can't Get Arrested in This Town ... So I Got a Real Job

EXCLUSIVE Former "Jersey Shore" star Angelina Pivarnick hasn't appeared on MTV for years ... and after failing to catch fire in the entertainment world -- the Staten Island Dump is giving up and getting a job.Pivarnick was just accepted into an EMT school in NYC where she will train for the next 3 months ... and then, assuming she actually shows up, Angelina will be certified.Angelina tells us, "Being...

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Mike Epps -- I'm The Prince of Darkness -- Take Down Your XMAS Lights!!

EXCLUSIVE Mike Epps wants the world to plunge into darkness ... imploring all good Christians to TAKE DOWN THEIR XMAS LIGHTS!!!We got the comedian at LAX where he schooled us on yuletide rules ... and just like white shoes after Labor Day subscribes to the unwritten rule on removing Christmas lights.Tell that to Maria Shriver ....

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TMZ Sports: Yasiel Puig ... Cops Say He's Dangerous

The fast life is catching up with Dodgers star Yasiel Puig and if he doesn't slow down -- he could kill someone ... at least that's what cops in Florida are saying.Plus, more trouble for Michael Vick's brother ... can he save himself before it's too late?And ... UFC champ Chris Weidman ... obsessed with his ABS ... and we have the video proof.TELL US WHATYOU THINK William Shatner's SB PredictionJerry...

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Amanda Seyfried's Dog -- Rapes Other Dog

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'Home Improvement' Star -- We Will Never, EVER Have A Reunion

EXCLUSIVE 'Home Improvement' -- one of the top rated sitcoms of the last millennia -- will forever be stuck in the 90s ... because one of its stars tells TMZ there is ZERO chance the entire cast will get back together again.Fans got a mini dose of H.I. love earlier this year ... when Jonathan Taylor Thomas was a guest star on "Last Man Standing" ... reuniting him with his former TV dad, Tim Allen.But...

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Tim Allen: Good Genes or Good Docs?

Tim Allen's looks need no major improvements.Here's a 39-year-old version of the "Home Improvement" patriarch at an awards show in Los Angeles back in 1992 (left) -- and 21 years later, the 60-year-old "The Santa Claus" actor on the red carpet in Beverly Hills earlier this year (right).Tim Allen... Total Votes: 3 *Poll ResultsVOTED Tim Allen... NOTE: Poll results are not scientific and reflect the...

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Good Morning America's Robin Roberts -- P.S. I'm Gay

Breaking News Robin Roberts just officially came out of the closet ... telling the world she's gay and has a longtime girlfriend.Robin just recounted her triumphs over the last year on her Facebook page ... talking about her battle with cancer and how she overcame the odds and regained her health.In the middle of her Facebook essay she said, "I am grateful for my entire family, my long time girlfriend,...

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Ben in 'Short Circuit': 'Memba Him?!

Fisher Stevens is best known for playing Ben the Johnny Five creator-turned-friend -- opposite Steve Guttenberg -- in the '80s sci-fi franchise "Short Circuit" and "Short Circuit 2." Guess what he looks like now! ...

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Justin Bieber Retiring; Make Up Your Damn Mind Already

Breaking News Justin Bieber is getting a little desperate for attention ... hes now trying to explain how the words "I'm retiring" are unclear.Justin's people are now saying the singer didn't make himself clear when he tweeted he was retiring ... and that Justin is not hanging it up just yet.Here's the problem ... this is the second time he's pulled this stunt and he knew exactly what he was doing.It...

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Katy Perry -- Britney Spears Concert ... I'd Rather Watch Paint Dry

Exclusive Video Britney Spears blew everyone away during her Vegas debut last night ... everyone, but Katy Perry.Katy was front and center for the "Piece of Me" show -- rubbing elbows with Miley Cyrus and Adam Lambert -- and while Miley danced her ass off, Katy couldn't seem less interested.True enough ... Britney's no John Mayer, but come on Katy -- she's a much better dancer than him.As they say...

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MIley Cyrus -- Burglary Looks Like Inside Job

EXCLUSIVE Whoever made off with the $100,000 worth of jewelry and purses from Miley Cyrus' house last month did it from the inside ... at least that's what law enforcement believes.Our cop sources tell us ... they've looked at various surveillance videos from Miley's home and the homes of neighbors ... and there's no sign of anyone suspicious entering or leaving her house.What's more ... there's...

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Little Boba Fett in 'Star Wars: Episode II': 'Memba Him?!

Daniel Logan is best known for playing the boy turned bounty hunter Boba Fett in the 2002 sci-fi film "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones." Guess what he looks like now! ...

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Ex-Anthrax Guitar Player -- Arrested ... For Allegedly Choking His Wife

Breaking News And to all a good night did not apply to one of the members of Anthrax, after his wife's mom called cops saying he choked his spouse ... but the wife took it all back.Lead guitarist Dan Spitz was arrested at his home in Lake Worth, Florida early Christmas morning after he and his wife allegedly got into a drunken fight ... according to local reports.Once the fight began, his wife's mother...

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Celebrity Squares -- Guess Who!

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Beck -- TENANT FROM HELL ... Claims 'Inglourious Basterds' Star

EXCLUSIVE Beck is in the middle of a war with a very rich, very powerful German ... a German who claims Beck DESTROYED his Malibu rental property ... and now, they're suing the crap out of each other, TMZ has learned.The German is Til Schweiger -- who besides playing Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz in "Inglourious Basterds," is one of the top filmmakers in Germany (we'd put a clip in the post, but they're all...

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Snooki to JWoww -- CONGRATS ON PREGNANCY ... You're Going to Crap on Your Doctor

Jwoww isn't just gonna squeeze out a kid in July, she's also gonna push out a big ol' steaming dump ... so says her "Jersey Shore" BFF Snooki.Jwoww made the baby announcement on Christmas Day ... and hours later, Snooki (who already has a kid) posted a screen grab of a recent text convo they had, in which Snooks eloquently describes the miracle of child birth. As for JWoww -- real name Jenny Farley...

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Chad Johnson -- Wears 'F**king' Shirt .. TO KIDS TOY STORE!!!

EXCLUSIVE Chad Johnson had a big, bold message printed on his t-shirt for all the little boys and girls at Toys R' Us to see on Christmas Eve ... "CARPE THAT F**KING DIEM" kids!The former NFL star hit up the toy store in Pembroke Pines, FL to pick up some last minute gifts on Tuesday ... and actually decided to wear a shirt with the word "f**king" written in huge letters on the front.Of course, the...

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Sarah Palin -- I Never Read Phil Robertson's GQ Article ... Even Though I'm Defending Him!

So much for reading " all of em,' any of em" ...Sarah Palin -- one of Phil Robertson's strongest supporters -- admitted SHE HASN'T READ THE GQ ARTICLE that ignited the firestorm!!!!Palin appeared on Fox News Channel's "On the Record with Greta Van Susteren" the other night ... when Greta asked if Phil's explanation about why he disapproved homosexuality was too graphic in the magazine article.Palin's...

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Jesse Jackson -- Phil Robertson Is WORSE Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver

Breaking News Phil Robertson's homophobic comments to GQ were MORE OFFENSIVE than the words uttered by bus driver who tried to force Rosa Parks to sit on the back of his bus in 1955 ... so says civil rights leader Jesse Jackson.Jackson came out firing against the "Duck Dynasty" star this week ... explaining, "These statements uttered by Robertson are more offensive than the bus driver in Montgomery,...

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Gabrielle Union -- Takes MASSIVE Ring to Lakers Game ... With Bodyguards

Gabrielle Union -- the future Mrs. Dwyane Wade -- took her brand new million dollar 8.5 carat diamond ring out in public yesterday ... but not without some serious hired muscle to keep it safe.Gabby and Ring arrived to the Staples Center in L.A. ... flanked by private security ... to watch their man dominate the Kobe Bryant-less Lakers. Funny, Kobe knows a little something about expensive jewelry...

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